The Power of Choice … A Guest Post By Debbie Petras
Life happens. We may be forced to face trials and challenges that we didn’t choose or desire to have any part of. Dealing with cancer, the death of a loved one, a heart attack that we never saw coming, a divorce, betrayal, and hurts and disappointments that leave us questioning why.
Why is this happening to me? Why can’t I have a life of happiness, health and prosperity? Why so much pain? What did I ever do to deserve this?
Somehow I find it easier to accept that there are consequences to the bad choices I’ve made. I can take responsibility for that. But it’s harder to accept and deal with things that I didn’t bring about, don’t want and wish I didn’t have to deal with.
No matter what I’m dealing with I can exercise my power to choose how I’ll respond. My day to day choices will determine what my tomorrows will become. I have the power to make that choice. Will I remain stuck in anger which often results in a life of bitterness, distorting the lens through which I view life? Or will I choose to embrace the fact that life is challenging? What can I learn from this? How will I choose to respond? That is the better question.
Dr. Viktor Frankl was a famous psychiatrist who wrote a book called “Man’s Search for Meaning”. He described the horrors he had endured as a prisoner in Nazi death camps, including Auschwitz where he lost many family members. He observed that some prisoners gave up and died quickly while others continued to survive despite the extreme conditions. Although the prison guards had control over their prisoners’ living conditions, they couldn’t take away the individual’s power to choose how to respond and somehow find meaning and hope in the midst of it all.
Dealing with cancer or heart disease actually provides an opportunity for reflection, a moment to consider how to proceed from here. It can give you the power and the courage to say no and focus on what really matters to you. I believe we need to pay attention and balance three aspects of our lives; body, mind and spirit.
My good friend Maria battled breast cancer that included many treatments. I took time to visit her on Long Island, New York. As we sat on the beach where we had spent many summer days in high school, we reminisced about the crazy times of fun and laughter which immediately brought smiles to our faces. Choosing to take moments to enjoy the sunset or listen to the sound of the surf can be so healing. Taking a walk, reading a good book, spending quality time with family and friends, feeling free to share what really matters to you, and relying on your faith, taking time to pray and connect with God who can provide the strength and courage to help you get up each morning, despite the tough times.
I’d love to hear about some of the choices you’ve made that have empowered you to not only survive, but thrive regardless of the personal challenges in life that you’re facing. By being open and sharing the lessons we’ve learned, we can connect and help each other as we learn from one another.
Remember, our day to day choices determine what our tomorrows will become.
**********
ABOUT DEBBIE PETRAS
Debbie Petras is a cardiovascular nurse specialist with more than 20 years of experience. Her interest in this field began when she had open heart surgery as a child to correct a congenital heart defect. More recently, she has changed directions to learn all about consumer generated media and the power of word of mouth to help with a startup technology company. In the process, she discovered blogging and has a personal blog called Heart Choices.
Tags: breast cancer, breast cancer blog, cancer, Choice, Debbie Petras, Heart Choices, Karen Lynch, Karen M. LynchRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Guest Posts
7 opinions for The Power of Choice … A Guest Post By Debbie Petras
Karen Lynch
Jul 28, 2008 at 8:19 am
I get to go first! First of all, I want to thank Debbie for such an insightful post — it came at the perfect time for me, since I’m away on vacation at the beach, and spending hours with myself and my thoughts. It’s perfect.
The choices I’ve made since learning I had cancer? I switched to writing full time, following my passion. I spend as much time as possible with family and friends. I try to make time for myself each day, to meditate or walk or something nourishing to my soul. And I pray … a lot … I pray.
Can’t wait to hear from the rest of the Pink Ribbon Readers!
Debbie Petras
Jul 28, 2008 at 11:13 am
I was so honored to be asked by Karen to write this guest post. I love how we can all learn from one another.
Karen, enjoy your time away with your family. May it be a time of fun, laughter and joy.
hk
Jul 28, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Debbie,
I have read several of your entries at “Heartchoices” and have enjoyed all of them. You are always so positive - thank-you. As I reflect about my own “unask for” challenges, I think I would report that raising your grandchild is an unexpected challenge that many of us are dealing with in this day and age. Will I embrace it, or will I continually complain about how unfair this is? After all, I have raised my family, I didn’t ask for this; my friends are free to come and go as they please, trips with other couples are difficult, if not impossible to plan, and young teenagers can be downright difficult. This is the reality of it. But another reality is that I have the priviledge of using these later years to really contribute to a child, to help him discover truth, to feel love, and be accepted by his family. I choose to give up time with friends, I choose to teach him, I choose to go through rebellious teenage years, I choose to love him.
It is not always easy, in fact, it’s quite often hard - kids these days! But it is a “heartchoice” that I believe will have a much better outcome than a book full of vacation pictures of all the trips I took.
Cathy Bueti
Jul 29, 2008 at 7:11 am
What a great post. I smiled when I first saw the picture of the beach. Yesterday was my birthday and that is where I was! The ocean has always brought me peace. It is where I long to run to when I am having a difficult time. Listening to the sounds of the ocean as you said is healing for me. I was diagnosed with bc at 31 and am now 39! ALthough many bad things have happened and I suppose will continue to I always have a choice in how to deal with/look at them and move on. I choose the positive road and sometimes that is hard but it is so much more worth it!
Thanks Debbie for a wonderful post!
Debbie Petras
Jul 29, 2008 at 8:36 am
Happy Birthday Cathy! Thank you for your comments. I’m so glad that you choose the positive road despite the challenges in your life. God bless you.
Kelly Kimball
Aug 2, 2008 at 11:45 am
I love your post & picture. While going through my cancer treatments, my marriage fell apart. One day, my 4 year old son, said mommy why don’t we move to the seashore. Two weeks later I moved to another state, to a little apartment beach block, where I could sit on my porch and hear the ocean, yet still be within 90 minutes of my drs. Its a great place to raise my son.
I met a great guy here and on the 18th we will celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary. Getting married again was scary, since being dxed with mets, long range plans were 3 months away. Once I realized I had outlived all the statistics, I decided 2008 was the year to stop living like I was dying and start living. Its ok to save money and have long range plans. I am so lucky my hubby helped me see that. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring but its ok to hope for another day.
Debbie Petras
Aug 2, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Thank you Kelly, for sharing your story. I felt such sadness as you shared about your marriage falling apart but then happiness to hear about your new husband. What a good man he must be! The doctors can say one thing but only God knows the day we will die. It will eventually happen to each one of us but in the meantime, we need to live each and every day to its fullest with a grateful heart. God bless you Kelly!
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: