How to Coordinate Care for a Cancer Patient
Someone you love has cancer. They didn’t choose it, it just happened, and they have to live with it. Thing is … your life is forever changed with that diagnosis as well. The minute they were diagnosed, you became a cancer caregiver.
If you live with the patient, well, you really have no choice — you literally share a home with the patient so the primary burden and responsibility will fall on you. Chances are you wouldn’t have it any other way because your love for the patient is so very great. That’s not to say someone else can’t help you out by coordinating meals and rides and the like … let me get to that next.
If you don’t live with the patient, you can volunteer to be a suport person, a caregiver or even a point person for meal coordination. Mothers, sisters, friends, neighbors … as long as you have the heart and gumption to take on the job you can assume the role.
I was so blessed both times I was in treatment. The first time around, my mother worked with my two best girl friends to help my husband. They all worked as a cohesive team to care for me and my kids. The second time around, I had to rely less on my mother and more on a core group of local girlfriends that I called ‘my inner circle.’ One person coordinated meals for me for weeks on end; they all checked in with me to manage my calendar each week and took on different roles based on who they were (one friend picked my daughter up for frequent playdates with her daughter, others drove my boys to/from school, one picked up and delivered my dry cleaning, that kind of thing). I was truly, truly blessed.
So … here’s the deal: if you are a caregiver, by default as a spouse or by choice if you are best suited for the job, there are two things you really need to keep in mind.
1. Have an open dialogue as soon as you can to review the patient’s needs. Discuss what their needs are but also what their goals are. For example, some people would like meals every night, others would prefer alternating nights or a few days a week only; some people want their child to play with different kids all the time, others want a consistent caregiving routine.
2. Continue to communicate even after you get in a groove. Things change and you need to adapt. What worked during an initial diagnosis might not work in the throws of chemo. Volunteers forget things and might need to be reminded.
Now, onto something practical. I know it’s hard to coordinate meals, playdates and rides for someone else when you’re so busy yourself. Fortunately, there are some great online resources you can tap to help you care for someone else … and yourself. Check ‘em out:
CareCalendar: “Bringing communities together to care for loved one”
Lotsa Helping Hands: “When friends & family need help”
Cancer Caregivers: “Tools to help You help”
What about you guys … do you have a caregiver resource you can share?
(Photo courtesy of batega on flickr)
Tags: breast cancer, breast cancer blog, cancer, caregiver, health, men, wellness, womenRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Caregivers, Resources, Support
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